Dream a Little Bigger, Darling

Life is full of commas but never periods. I read about this quote sometimes ago but due to my lower capasity of memory I can't remember the name of the person who said it. My life as students was over a couple of months ago.A big transition for me to stop everything I did for the past 18 years and start working now. The fear and doubt in me increase while waiting for reply of my applications.

Where I should go? Where I should be? How to change my perspective and routine? Maybe to you this is not a big deal. But to me it is like my whole life depend on it. I never work in my whole life before. Never do something to earn money read salary. But now I have to do it. What if I don't like my job? What if I fail to fit in the new environment and playing a new role? What if..??? A natural born pessimistic like me, all these dark thoughts never leave my side. They all swarming around my head every waking moments. But now I learn to put "What if?" aside. The questions never bring me anywhere. It causes more fear and doubt in me. Instead I just do it and find it myself.

Now I'm in the working force. I still go to class but not as student but as a teacher. I am the one that stand in front of the class and talking ..no longer a quiet and shy girl at the back of the class that hide my head whenever the teacher asking something. The first experience of teaching was priceless. Only teachers share and understand my feelings. Hard for me to describe them in words. It almost a month now. I am beginning to adapt and learn to fit in. A new role, a new setting, a new environment and a new responsibilities but they do not make feel worse. It is amazing to learn about the power of human ability. We manage to fit in, to be part of the community and able to play differents roles at any given time. The main point is to try first and see for yourself how far can you go. I wish, pray and hope that I can go really far.