10 Things That You Will Hate About Me
1. Emotionally detached- I don’t show you how sorry or how sad I am. I might at times stop smiling (or smiling awkwardly) when you tell me some good news. I will not cry when I heard some bad news and I will not care if you pull some stunts just to make me jealous.
2. Not being romantic and lack of pda- I’m not going to tell you how much I love you. I’m not going to write sappy poems or odes on how gorgeous you are or how endless our love will be. I’m not going to touch you or hold your hand. I’m not going to call you any pet names and I’m not going to call or text you every day.
3. Pessimistic- I don’t believe everything last forever, I don’t believe love at a first sight exist, I mock when you said “I’ll do anything for you”, I roll my eyes when you promise to love me and only me and I grind my teeth when you give me presents.
4. Reserved- I’m not going to share all my secrets with you. I’m not going to tell you what I love about you. I won’t share my family history with you. I’m not going to tell you names of my exes.
Stubborn- I’m not going to change my behaviour or my fashion sense (or lack thereof) even if you tell me to. I’m not going to apologize.
6. Recluse – There’ll be a time I’m not going to talk to you at all (personally or through phone). Sometimes I’ll refuse to go out with you either for meals or dates, I will not hang out with your friends and I’m most definitely will not go and meet your family.
7. Quiet- Awkward silence will follow me everywhere. I will start and end conversation abruptly. I will not ask you about your previous relationship and secret. I won’t ask you about your family (parents, siblings and pets).
8. Rant- When I can’t keep out my anger I’ll burst and you might deal with it (especially if you’re the cause of the anger in the first place), I don’t forgive and forget. I will curse and swear and be physically violence as well, and if you ask me too calm down I will direct all the negative energy to you.
9. Not feminine enough– I will never be a typical female just for you. I’m not going to doll up and play dress up every time we’re going out.
10. Complicated- I like things that you don’t like, I do things that you’ll never do, and I’ll discuss or ask about things that never cross your mind. My train of thoughts will be all over the place and my focus will waver. I will lay them out for you and ask for your opinion. I will most definitely argue and refute your idea and opinions if I’m not happy with them.
1. I don’t know how to express my emotion directly but I hurt just like you. I can be angry and happy and proud just like you.
2. I don’t do all that cause they’re too cliché and too pretentious. I don’t need to advertise my love for you. I’m not going to hold you because you are yet my husband and in my mind if there are too much affectionate gestures before marriage then they lose some of the sentiments and values after getting married.
3. I’m being realistic. I have plan B,C,D etc because of my pessimism. I know how to deal with break up. I don’t want to be in your debt if I use your money or when you shower me with gifts. I won’t be too trusty to the point I lose myself and my dignity. Pessimism makes me prepare myself for bad days.
4. I have trust and self-esteem issue to match. Don’t suffocate me with your eagerness to know everything about me because if you are true and patient enough this fortress around me will collapse one day. Maybe not at one go but one brick at a time.
5. If I’m going to change whatever aspect of myself it’s because of me and my awareness. I’m not going to apologize if I know the mistakes were not mine but I’ll tell you all about your mistakes one by one (spell them to your face if I have to). You might be angry, hurt and embarrass but I’m just being honest with no drama. It’s up to you how to accept them. If the mistakes are mine then you’ve to do the same thing to me and I’ll apologize wholeheartedly.
6. I’m not good in juggling my life. Between my work, family, study and you, there’ll be time that I need to be alone just for myself. To catch my breath and reorder my messy thoughts. To meet your family is a BIG deal to me. I’m not that confidence to be introduce to everyone and plain awkward to be included in your circle of family and friends.
7. I’m just quiet when I’m being shy and awkward but when we find some common grounds to start conversation you might have some difficulties to catch up with me.
8. When I’m angry (or annoyed or frustrated) I will be all out. I have the worst temper (they run in the families). Either me being angry at you or someone/something else you should never ask me to calm down. Let me rant, let me swear in all languages that I know, let me yell and break stuff because these are how I channel my excessive energy and once they are out I’ll be calm again and then we can talk and work out with our issues.
9. I’m just being me. I hate to be told what I should wear and how I should act. I feel like living under someone else skin if I do everything you tell me to. I hate pretending to be someone who I am not.
10. I’m an analytical individual. I will ask questions, (wondering about many things going on in this world, going on with me and you), and if you ask me to do something I will ask you why? I want you to be reasonable and explain to me, not to give me some instruction and aspect me to follow blindly. If your reason is illogical I will not listen to you.
I am different and aware of it since I was 13. I read books that most 13 year old will never read. The same things with music, food etc. Give me and yourself some time. Don’t push it. I’m not going to ask you to understand me. I will never ever ask you to do that because it’s impossible. I don’t even understand myself. Sometimes I wonder why I act certain ways and why I like different things than my friends. The answer will remain the same: I don’t know.
Music: A Good Life- OneRepulic
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